What's on My Radar #1

I mentioned it briefly in the welcome a couple of weeks ago, I love stories. For me, stories come in many forms, from music to books to podcasts to TV shows to the occasional movie. Words are what get me through my day.

As I've been exploring how I relate to the world, it's clear that stories are my medium, both in how I communicate and how I like to be communicated with. As an INFJ (which I will touch more on in a bit!), I crave authenticity from people and love to hear how others view the world.

 In this ongoing series, I'm going to share with y'all the mediums that are breathing life into me. Other than it being media-related, there are no rules here. It may be news articles or podcasts or certain songs... the common thread is words, though.

Without further ado, here's what's piqued my interest recently.

An Ode to the Women Who Are Too Much  

I had never heard of Steve Wiens before I read this blog post, but this has been something that's been on my mind a lot off and on over this past year. Like I mentioned above, I am an Myers-Briggs type INFJ, which is the most rare personality type in the world, and have many times been described as a "bull in a China shop."

In addition to being an INFJ, I'm an external processor. I think big thoughts. I have big feelings. I hate injustice with a fiery passion and the world doesn't change fast enough for me. And I have a tendency to say all the things.  It can cause problems -- many people just don't know what to do with me. If you're one of these people, yes, I am well aware that this is a thing and that you feel this way -- another one of the gifts that go along with being an INFJ is being highly intuitive. I can read you. 

Back to Steve's post -- the post itself is short, but as I read I felt a wave of relief reading Steve's words and even more so after I did a little more exploring on his site and discovered he's a man of faith and a pastor. High five, Steve, for getting the women like me.

The Good Word, episode 119 // Spiritual Abuse with Carol Howard Merritt 

More Steve Wiens! Like I said above, I hadn't ever heard of him before that blog post but it sent me down the rabbit hole and I started listening to his podcast, The Good Word.

This breathed life into me, y'all. I feel like the title is a bit of a misnomer, because it's not just about abuse in the Church, but about hurt as well. One of the most poignant parts, paraphrased, was Carol's (who's also a pastor) comment how church is inherently vulnerable and with that vulnerability comes messy emotions. I really recommend giving this a listen if you've struggled hurts in the Church/religious organizations. I can't wait to give Carol's book a read now.

The INFJ Handbook by Marissa Baker

I'm sure you see a theme emerging. I've been exploring some thoughts and ideas about INFJs (Are adoptive parents more likely to be INFJs? Are INFJs difficult for people to understand because were rare?), but in order to answer these questions thoroughly, I felt like I needed to have a better understanding of what being an INFJ entails. The latter question is more for my own benefit and for the benefit of those I have relationships with. 

I grabbed this book off Amazon yesterday and sat down and read half before bed last night. The "bull in the China shop" personality trait can be difficult for me to manage effectively, especially in stressful situations.  This section, "Not Quite Ourselves," resonated with me: 

"For INFJs (and INTJs, who share Se as an inferior function), stress causes an "obsessive focus on external data," an "overindulgence in sensual pleasure," and an "adversarial attitude toward the outer world." The first one can make us irritable and obsessive. The second often takes the form of overeating, shopping for things we don't need, and generally becoming self-centered. The third is a defensive response to feeling like the entire world is spinning out of control." 

Yes, yes and also, yes. 

I have a few more INFJ books in my list of upcoming reading, but already my research has helped me understand my behaviors and traits better. This one's a quick read, for anyone who is an INFJ and wants to know more about themselves or anyone who loves an INFJ and wants to understand them better. 

Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown

This is likely to be one of those books that sticks with me forever. It's been emotionally challenging, but also so. dang. good. Brene's ideas about grace and politics and communication push me out of my comfort zone, which is exactly what a good book should do, right? 

The following passage stopped me in my tracks and I've read it over and over again:

"If we’re going to make true belonging a daily practice in our lives, we’re going to need a strong back and a soft front. We’ll need both courage and vulnerability as we abandon the certainty and safety of our ideological bunkers and head off into the wilderness.

True belonging is, however, more than strong back and soft front. Once we’ve found the courage to stand alone, to say what we believe and do what we feel is right despite the criticism and fear, we may leave the wilderness, but the wild has marked our hearts. That doesn’t mean the wilderness is no longer difficult, it means that once we’ve braved it on our own, we will be painfully aware of our choices moving forward. We can spend our entire life betraying ourself and stood up for ourself and our beliefs, the bar is higher. A wild heart fights fitting in and grieves betrayal."

Dang, Brene. It's been a good counterpoint to the soul searching I've been doing about my "bull in a China shop"-ness, reminding me to embrace the healthy parts of my personality, the parts of God that He placed in me, but also holding a mirror up to those parts that need refinement. It's been an extraordinary read. 

I could go on all day about the words that are moving me, but we're going to wrap it up for now. I'll be back soon with the next installment of What's on My Radar.