A year of self care

I read something awhile back about self care that resonated with me. I don't remember exactly how it was phrased or who said it, but the general concept was this  -- a glass of wine or an indulgent meal, a budget-blowing shopping trip, or a day vegging out with Netflix isn't self care, it's damage control.

I am the queen of going hard.

I will fund raise $30,000 in nine months to bring a child home (three times in four years, no less).

I will exercise for 90 days straight and eat only plants to lose 20 pounds.

I will decide I need to rip up carpet, paint of floor and walls, and decorate our 600 square foot master suite in three weeks' time.

I am really good at going hard, but I work so hard that it's unsustainable and eventually I crash, and when I crash, I crash as hard as I go.

I began this year with a list of things that I wanted to do. Some of it's hard work, like getting back into shape after an exercise hiatus when we adopted Charlie Joy, some of it's fluff, like buying a gel nail kit and doing my nails more often.

For exercise, I started the year with the goal of doing nine Beachbody challenge groups. It's the exercise program I used last year that gave me incredible results in a short amount of time. My gut instinct was to hit the ground running and work as hard as I possibly can. I've done this before -- I know I can get back into great shape in two months' time -- but I remembered what my actual goal was and that is to finish the year in good shape.

As part of this challenge group, I've been listening to the audiobook version of Jon Acuff's Finish over the past couple of weeks and it's revolutionized my thinking. The tagline is "Giving yourself the gift of done," and the general premise is making our goals not only attainable, but sustainable.

So back to those goals... As hard as I want to go, I know I can't sustain working out seven day a week and whole foods, plant based every. single. day. I'm a mom of four kids and life happens! So what am I going to do when I have days like yesterday where school gets cancelled and I can't fit a workout into my day? I'm going to take a deep breath and say that missing a day isn't the end of the world if I am making this a long-term goal and I'll do what I did today, get out of bed and pick up where I left off. After all, I am 13 workouts closer to my goal than I was on January 1st. 

So this year, I am not making a resolution, but I am committing to myself to care for myself, to take my time in reaching my goals so I don't burn out. 

Self care is more than getting to that healthy weight or fitting into a certain pair of pants, it's giving myself the tools to not only reach my goal, but to sustain my goal once I get there. 

One step at a time. One day at a time.